Saturday, June 5, 2010

Can't see, Can't (stop) Pee, Can't Climb a Tree

No, I don't have Reiter's. Let me explain...

How do you do it? Those of you who spend your work day shopping being productive in front of a computer. My 20/10 vision is in serious jeopardy as I have spent the last 2 months in front of a computer for 13 hours per day. Might as well be staring at a light bulb. Plus the screen was greasy and blurry from all the first-years putting their grubby mitts on it so everything was out of focus. My eyes are slowly regaining their strength, but spending that much time in front of a screen seems unhealthy for my eyes. Hey, maybe all those people who have the screen darkeners are ahead of the curve, just like Shape-Ups, Toddler Leashes and SARS masks. I am seriously surprised no one has won a lawsuit over getting hazard pay for computer work. Not that I would have their back on that one, I am just surprised no one has try to sue. Hey, maybe the next watered down computer Steve Jobs waves in front of your face and convinces you that you need will have some high tech screen that won't hurt your eyes. Seriously, have you watched the videos of him at conferences? I am convinced he could pull one of those old car phones out of a box and everyone would cheer and yell like he just cured cancer. They are programmed to do that. The press kisses Jobs' ass worse than a plastic surgery gunner. Maybe they are afraid he will unleash a police raid on them like he did this guy. What can the iPad do that other computers can't? I love my mac and avoid PC's like I do other med students, but I still don't need another $500 piece of equipment just because I want to flick not click through my pictures. Besides, they are way to secretive about their products and leave too many questions. Dude is like a walking Lost episode.

I have consumed more coffee in the past 8 weeks than the rest of my life combined. The day I took my boards, I got a computer with a very sensitive mouse. Shaky Hands + Coffee makes clicking answers Carnival-Game-Hard. I was waiting for the balloon to inflate or a carney to pop out and convince me I needed to upgrade to a bigger stuffed animal. Felt like I had to pee every 5 minutes for a few days after the test. I don't know how you religious coffee drinkers get any work done. Maybe that's the point, always going to the bathroom to shop on your iPhone and update your facebook pee. Didn't get any withdrawal headaches so I must not have used for long enough.

My wrist hurts. I never thought I would say this, but I think I had the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome. I feel like I need a wrist brace next time I go bowling. What exactly do the bowler wrist braces do? Anyways, about week 5 of my 8 week final push I started having wrist pain and a little numbness. So I switched the buttons on the mouse and used my left hand. I almost filed workers' comp, but that only works if you are making money. Day of the test, my forearm was all tight. Kind of pathetic when you think about it, not to mention the risk of a DVT from all that sitting. Seriously, med school is dangerous. Compound that with a school in the ghetto and it makes for an episode comparable to Deadliest Catch.

I've got a few weeks before I start the circus that will be rotations. Can't wait to tell you some of the stories. I know there will be some gems from some of my colleagues' mouths as well as some patients. I can just see it now, med student answering a question the resident couldn't, the brown-nosing, the putting down/proving wrong other fellow med students. I just need to remember to take deep breaths and remember I have a fragile wrist from boards studying...