Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Is anyone here a marine biologist?

Back to the grindstone.  Three weeks until the biggest break of the year, but standing in the way of freedom is one test, and four midterms/finals.

So it seems to be commonplace for people to assume that because I am in med school I know everything there is to know about medicine.  It's not their fault, but in case you are reading this, and you still believe that med students are doctors, let me assure you that they are not.  That's why I am in med school.  I know about as much as you do after a full game of Operation.  Ask me anything about musculoskeletal or six weeks of information of cardiopulmonary and I might have some idea of the parts or diseases you are talking about, but ask me anything about reproduction, the brain, skin, and I buckle under the pressure like Miss Teen South Carolina.  Knowing that, I sometimes do not like to admit I am in school in fear of someone asking me a question I know I cannot answer (thus the Seinfeld reference in the title) and me having to face the your-med-school-sucks-stare. So in preparation for the plane rides I took during Thanksgiving, I had some other professions picked out, just in case the flight attendants needed medical assistance.  Sorry but you are better off if I do not touch you.  Just dodging lawsuits.

Leg one of my flight this holiday season:  I am watching Curb Your Enthusiasm on my DVD player, and the guy sitting next to me is watching some sort of porn on his iPod.  No joke.  I was wondering why he was covering the screen with his hands like he caught a leprechaun so naturally I had to make sure the TSA would approve of his viewing choice.  Looked over and caught....well, use your imagination.  Who does that?  What if I had been a child?  Can't it wait until you are off the plane?  Was tempted to lean over and say, "You know, the mile high club only counts if it is with another person."  I had already planned that if we were to converse, that I was going to tell him I was in seminary school.  Just to see.  Funny thing is, he kept looking at MY screen.  Couldn't take his eyes off of it.

Moral of the story:  Curb Your Enthusiasm IS better than porn.  

The return trip can beat porno-flyer.  Just after take-off, dude in front of me turned around and asked, "may I recline my seat, please?"...WHAT???  Who asks that?  If I say no are you going to do it anyways?  Is that lack of 6 degrees going to keep you from dozing off?  Well I am nice, so I said yes.  Who knows, dude could end up being a patient or my attending one day.  Gotta watch my back and karma levels.  I appreciated the gesture though.  Would have made sure he made it off the plane if it went down.  He goes before women and children.  World needs more of those types of people.  Usually right when I am reaching for my Cosmo, and the $15 bottle of water that I bought past the security checkpoint, the joker in front of me reclines their seat.  I get plastic to the skull followed by a face full of SARS-laden magazines.  While I was asleep one time in an airliner, I had a dream I ran into a tree.  Woke up to find my head sandwiched between the tray that I was using for a pillow and the seat in front of me.  That's why I never recline my seat in an airplane.  Don't need to get sued 'cuz I crushed someone's head.  Just dodging lawsuits.


  1. "The mile high club only counts if you're with another person"! HILARIOUS!!! Best blog line of the week. (And, I am sure you could do some sort of lecture on reproduction too. Come on, you were a bellman long enough to have learned something I'm sure...)
    Will be thinking about you over the next three weeks...would LOVE to see you when you are in town! You know where I am. Standing at the desk, looking pretty and showing people where the bathroom is. Boys to the left, girls to the right.
    just dodging lawsuits.

  2. So my Symphony for Skin Flute in the back seat of an FA-18 Hornet at 24,000 feet doesn't count??? Thats 4 1/2 Miles!!!!

  3. On a flight to LA from JFK was next to a guy watching japanese porn on his laptop.

  4. So, just wondering...did you shake hands with anyone?