Friday, October 3, 2008

"My oh Myostatin"

For those of you not familiar with Myostatin, let me introduce you to what happens without it.

You can't deny that this mouse is jacked.  The other mice couldn't get that yolked even with the juice.  Myostatin enables fat production and muscle atrophy.  Now, imagine if you weren't able to produce it.  Just so happens that researchers did it in mice.  It also happens that the first recorded human without the gene expression for the hormone is in Germany (documented via scientific literature).  At the age of four, he was holding approx. 7 lbs. straight in front of him in horizontal suspension.  This guy could smack the smirk off of Richard Sandrak's face while curling 50s.  There is no doubt that this little tyke is going to have a great life.  If he ever gets picked on, he will set an example by bending the bully's bike frame into a pretzel.  He will never go to his dad for help with bullies, his dad will come to him.  Fathers, good luck stopping this guy from dating your daughter.  And if by some fluke you have a daughter that cannot produce Myostatin, I say a forced marriage is in order.  You better hope you got some serious bridewealth.  This kid will play every sport imaginable and dominate them all.  Imagine this kid in Pop Warner.  Guy will have college strength in 5th grade.  I would be worried if this child was born in another country, where he might be able to go through life without picking up a sport or 10, but not in Germany.  They are hardcore.  Thing is, even if the kid pigs out on McDonald's daily, he will still be ripped.  With a little education and fitness, he will be unstoppable.  The Germans are prideful and take success seriously.  Not anly that, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that they cloned him to make a whole Olympic squad. Good thing this isn't Berlin, circa 1962, where they might require that parents only produce children sans the Myostatin gene.  The dates above are a range because quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to see the Germans cheat a bit to get him there sooner.

Note to Drew Rosenhaus:  Dude, get on this guy before it is too late!

Speaking of football, I just was briefly watching the Kentucky/Alabama game and the announcer said "Looks like they are going to take the penalty and try the field goal from further back.  They say it improves the angle, but I don't see it."  Seriously?  You are a football announcer and you don't see how a field goal from the three yard line on the hash is not as easy as it is from the 8 yard line?  I hope someone was ripping him apart in that little ear thing he wears.  Even Hochuli can make that call. 


  1. This must be the secret to my massive-yet-supersleek arms (a.k.a. "guns")!

    Thank you for shedding light on the question people have been asking me for at least 25 years.

  2. Coincidence? I think not. The ad next to your blog is for myostatin blockers! Hmmm, tempting. A second career for me?