Friday, October 10, 2008

Safe Haven

First of all, I wanted to thank M.D.O.D. for adding one of my posts to their "Grand Rounds" this week.  I give them full credit for the sudden 300% increase in visitors to my site the past few days.  In a futile attempt at reciprocity I encourage you to head over there and check it out.  They don't hold any punches and I agree with a ton of stuff they talk about, especially when it comes to EMTALA and healthcare in general.  This brings me to the blogs list I have started.  There are a ton of medical blogs out there as well as non-medical blogs that provide me with guidance, support, life-skills, and comfort on a daily basis.  I have started a top list on the right side of the page that I am sure will grow.  Check them out.

For all you parents out there who have at one time or another felt like driving your children to a place far, far away, (pretty sure that gets all of you) there is hope.  You may be saying, "they are 14, too old to abandon," to which I say, "not so fast." GO TO NEBRASKA before it's too late.  Oh, I can just imagine the conversation to pass that law:

Lawmaker #1:  Well, how old is too old for this law?  Lets think about it?
Lawmaker #2:  hmmm...(looking at watch)...the cornhuskers game starts in 5 minutes...
Lawmaker #3:  I know, let's just put 'children' where the age will go, that way we won't have to worry about it.  It's not like some guy will show up with 9 kids and leave them all.
Lawmaker #1 and 2:  Genius!

At least throw in a mandatory vasectomy/hysterectomy if you are going to pass some legal abandonment law.  If a guy can't produce one 'keeper' out of 9 kids, should he be able to try again?  You know what you are getting when you take on the responsibility of children.  (I appreciate the law when it is laid out correctly as it is trying to stop people from leaving their babies in dumpsters to die, etc.)  And yeah, some are more difficult than others and we could try to figure out whose fault nasty children are (parents) by discussing nature vs. nurture until David Blaine stops pulling off "incredible stunts," but I plan on being done with this discussion before I am 40.  [Plus, David Blaine is a crappy tipper.  Dude can change $1 bills into $100's, levitate, resurrect bugs from the dead and pull strings out of his stomach, but the hornswaggler hands over a 3 wadded up $1 bills and expects me to be amazed and dazzled?  Bro, change them into hundies!  But I digress]  I can't go to the fair, pop some balloons, walk around with a giant pink ape all night (or for 14 years for that matter) and then return to the carney and tell him I don't want to carry it around anymore because it is too much of a burden and I didn't realize what I was getting into.  That doesn't fly.  Should have stopped when I won the glass photo of Elvis or after the first three balloons where the toy was small enough for my dog to chew.  Yeah it seems cool at the time and you can't question my dart throwing ability that night  when people would stare and say "wow, he must be good at throwing darts because of the large, stuffed animal on his shoulders!  Wow he is so cool."  And my totally hot girlfriend is naturally impressed, but as soon as I leave the fair, I am just a guy with a giant pink ape on my shoulders and that puts a hamper on my lifestyle.  I do feel badly for the children though, but maybe they called Dad's bluff when he told them they were driving them crazy and he would leave them at the hospital.  "Fine Dad, if I can't watch the Hills or date Mikey, what do I care!"  Maybe 'Dad' doesn't realize that once they get grateful again and realize how nice it is to be home, they can't go back home.


  1. Ok...with nothing to do but pray for my Dodgers, I updated my blog a bit and added yours to the links.
    Let me know if you suddenly have an onslaught of readers!!!
    Hope you are well!!
    Miss your smile and kind words so much around the resort.

  2. "Elephant Ears"!! wondered if he was still touring, opening up for the Woman with 3 Vaginas...

  3. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.